It’s easy to blame you. All of you.
I mean it’s really easy.
Nobody made you do it.
Whatever it was that possessed you to play at being single.
You told me you were single. That makes you and idiot. That makes me a fool. Shame on you.
You told her you were single. That makes you an idiot. That makes her a fool. Shame on you.
You told yourself you were just friends.
Whichever way you look at it you’re an idiot.
You’re the reason I’m so self-destructive. So quick to find the fault, pick at the threads, turn a snag into a gaping wound. Why I can’t just take things at face value. Why I will instinctively believe the worst over and over again.
Why when a phone beeps my heart stops. When he says her name I feel sick. Why when I look at that photo my heart stops.
I’m an insecure mess and I really don’t know if that’ll ever change. And that cripples me.
I’m well aware that everyone has a past. And that most people are capable of change. I know that some people are more than capable of keeping their promises. I know that. I definitely do know that…In my head.
Someone should tell my heart.
And so I return,
To what I feared,
You live life alone,
With occasional compliments,
Beware that with every heart of gold,
It retains it's currency,
So if you believe,
Loves cost is free,
Then you'd call me a fool,
To call it robbery,
But I only know,
That I once was whole,
And now there's,
Half of me.
N.B – I know that certain people will read certain things into this. Don’t. It doesn’t mean that – it’s hypothetical and I’m talking in general terms. However, if those certain people reading this are the people who f**ked my heart up and made it all the more difficult for the next person, thanks for that.
